As Far As I Can Tell

I love you, I love my grandkids

Wrong numbers can be great little insights into the life of a stranger. What’s best is when they leave a message without realizing (for some reason) that this isn’t the right number. This happens on my phone routinely, including a sad message a while ago of a man trying to tell someone when they can come down to the funeral home for a visitation. Nothing else though has been quite as bizarre as the 2.5 minute message left on my machine Saturday.

It’s rambling, crazy, threatening and nonsensical. At one point she’s implies that she’s putting someone else on the line, but then keeps talking. At another she seems to take a long drink with loud gulping noises.

I recorded it as an MP3 so you can download it [580K] and listen for yourself with your favorite media player.

I hope this is a friend of mine doing a fabulous job of screwing with me.

View Comments (5)

# March 29, 2004 09:40 PM


 

Comments

I can offer no insight into what the hell that message was. I heard something about the ‘po-po’ and was there a threat to ‘bust your ass’ somewhere in there? I’m not even convinced that was a woman’s voice. My advice, Simon, is to keep your grandkids locked up safe and don’t answer the phone unless you recognize the number on caller ID.

Posted by: vanessa on March 30, 2004 5:52 PM

why do i miss all of the best things. i would have called her back like the time i tried to call the funeral man. you should try to make friends with her. maybe she can housesit during our european adventure.

Posted by: meredith on April 1, 2004 2:06 PM

based on my fondness for mumbling, you know this is my most favorite thing. I’m very jealous of you. Please call them back and ask them to leave a message for me so I can laugh like that again

Posted by: bil on April 8, 2004 10:08 PM

I’ve heard plenty of disjointed answering machine messages but that one takes the cake. It sounded like a montage of bizarre phone calls but yet it all happened at one time. About a year ago I got a series of phone calls from “Jack.” He was a grizzled and foul mouthed man who had mistaken my number for some kids that owed him some money for drugs. He wasn’t happy.

Posted by: Josh on April 9, 2004 5:18 PM

Sometimes there are these special moments that only You get to experience. It is what makes life so special. occationally some one called “tru green” will call and leave messages. No one here knows who “Tru Green” is. Oh, and AT&T calls all the damn time.

Posted by: erin (aka "mary") mathieson on April 11, 2004 2:39 PM

As far as who can tell?


Chicago, IL

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